Well this is certainly not the first post I wanted to write to start off 2017, but it’s life and I think these things need to be talked about.
Mid-December my husband and I were shocked (to say the least) to discover that we were expecting. Of course we were thrilled, but we wondered what God was doing as we are currently in the middle of our homestudy. We viewed this baby as our little Christmas miracle and had already fully grabbed onto the hope of this child.
Two short weeks later I noticed a little bit of blood after using the restroom. I knew where this was heading, but cried out to God to save this precious little life that we already loved so much. I went to bed early that night and tried to rest. At 3 am I woke up and had a huge gush of blood. I knew it was over.
We named the baby Noel since he or she was our Christmas surprise.
If you have never had a miscarriage (you can read about my previous ones here), it can be hard to understand the grief that comes with even an early miscarriage. It doesn’t matter how long you have known about the child before the miscarriage, it’s a loss and it’s heartbreaking and there is grief. But through it all we know God is faithful.
I gave myself a couple of days to grieve and to cry. I ate a whole pan of brownies and cried my heart out to God. I didn’t try to be strong or to hide it. I guess the older I get, the more I realize that life needs to be lived – the good times and the bad times – God can use it all.
And that brings me to my one word for 2017. I never imagined I would ring in the new year by saying goodbye, but the experience renewed in me my desire to work on my health this year – both physically and spiritually. I want to draw near to the Holy Spirit and be sensitive to his promptings in my life. I want to experience energy and wellness in my body. So my word this year is NOURISH. I want a nourished spirit and nourished body.
What will this look like? More time seeking God through reading my Bible, praying, worshiping, and reading edifying books and investing a little more into my health through the additions of some supplements, consistent use of some herbs and essential oils, more rest, a high quality probiotic and lots of delicious real food. It’s simple really so I don’t know why it is so hard for me to do these things sometimes.
Do you have a word for 2017?